h1

One more time

February 1, 2011

Again – I think it’s better to music, but hopefully this does something for y’all. If this doesn’t post this time, I think I’ll scream:

Balance

I-
Never asked for this
Passive kiss from a world packed with
Racists, sexists, violence
And all of this
Oppression from which
Resistance seems so pointless, sometimes
But I –
Do what I can
Not enough – I’m just
One man
I can’t stand
Up
To the pervasive power of this entrenched system.

But if I could get a hand
Maybe I could withstand
One more landed
Punch
To my bandaged
Gut
Laughs and
Thrusts
From a rapist’s tongue
Forked as a snake’s is
Numb
To its own poison.
But then
I tell them
How the world makes me feel, and they tell me I’m wrong
Again
So I still
Hide my soul in my songs
Please listen.

This has gone on so long
That if I hold it in for one more minute
My passionate
Vision will move beyond
Problems solved
To an oppressor’s bond with a war of attrition prolonged
By the oppressed’s very actions
Against a real solution.
Because I want mine – I block you access
To yours
“Equality just for me” such a commonly
Enforced oxymoron.

Cuz when men of color de-humanize our mothers and daughters
How much of our humanity is left?
Yet when women suggest that my struggle is an “overreaction,” how can I walk with them?
My fight is not yours
And yours is not mine
They’re ours
We’re all less-than human
In the eyes
Of this unjust system
And the power
Given us is a chance to listen
To the common “truths” by which we’re so often beaten
To find the real Truth which we have allowed to stay hidden:
“Emotional, irrational, angry, violent, incapable or less-intelligent”
Is how we keep ourselves “above” our potential allies
And how we keep ourselves below a glassed-off sky

And I-

And I -
Beg.
Please forgive me
Cuz I never meant for my shit
To pile on your shit
But I did.

Fatigue left me frustrated
I let it feed my hatred
And I hid
My pain behind an “F-the-world” mentality
That ostensibly
Protected me
But actually
Hurt you.

The words I used
So abusive
I knew
The minute they got free
We
Were all about to lose
That unsteady
Foundation from which we hoped to shake victory
Loose.

But I did not choose
To make so many mistakes in my youth.

And
I want you to understand
That though I walk and talk with swagger
I refuse to lose my balance
Hands
Outstretched
Reaching for a chance to grab
Onto all that has eluded my grasp

I’m so young
And I’ll never go through what you have

I don’t have to consider your opinions
While you don’t have to live my experience
But together we can withstand
The combined might of our independent ignorance
And turn shared wisdom
Into talismans
Against this oppressive system
From which we all come out branded as
Heathens.

And so –
I’ve shared my thoughts, but I choose to repeat them:

I am not enough – just one man
I can’t
Stand
Up.

But if I could
Get a hand . . ?
Then what?

Then what?

2 comments

  1. This is absolutely beautiful. My eyes actually welled up a little while reading it. I bet it would be even more moving to hear it performed. I like how this speaks to not only to majority’s mistreatment(sorry for the understatement) of minorities, but also how that treatment has lead to us minorities being divided and conquered, so to speak. And not just racially divided but gender-wise too.

    ps-I’m glad to see you’re blogging more frequently.


    • All I can say is “thank you.” I very much appreciate YOUR appreciation . . .



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