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Am I Chinese Yet?

October 6, 2010

So . . .  I’m back.  In China.  (*1)

A year ago today?  “Back” to the literal mother’s land for the very first time.  (*2)  So now, upon my second time here, it seems appropriate enough to ask myself, “Am I Chinese yet?”

Of course, that question is completely tongue-in-cheek.  No – I’m not Chinese.  No more than I’m a white guy.  I’m just another mixed-race hunxue’er – no more likely to “blend in” here in Shanghai than I am in the States.  I knew that coming in.

That said – I have changed, though.  My improved cultural understanding and language skills have allowed me to relax a bit on the pressure I’ve put on myself regarding my identity.  I’m not really going to be either one, but I should have a solid understanding of how each side is, so I can better choose how I want to bring who I am – and who my ancestors were – to my own kids (whether “my” kids be my offspring, or just the kids I teach).  And I do now.

And there’s more.  So much more, of course.  A year can bring a lot of change.

But one thing that will not change is my interest in continuing the virtual (and literal) conversations I began before I even bought a plane ticket to come out here.

So.

I’m back.  In China.  And I’m also back.  To Choptensils.  Sorry for the very long break.  Hope I didn’t lose too much of you.  I’ll do what I can to write something worthwhile to bring you all back and get this going again.

I’m not Chinese.  But I am still the CVT.  And I’ve got quite a lot to say.  Let’s get back to it.

(*1)  Been back for about two weeks now – after a full and busy summer in the States.  Busy enough that I totally let this blog fall to the wayside while I was working at the same camp I’ve referenced here before.  Damn – it felt really good to see “my” kids again.

(*2) Would have been landing in a couple hours, if we’re going to go EXACTLY a year ago.

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5 comments

  1. welcome back! you’ve been missed.


  2. Whoo! Good to see you again. ^_^ I hope life has been treating you well.


  3. Nice to see you again, welcome back.


  4. Great to see that you are writing again.

    I thought I would share an experience I just had….one of my kids that I work with said to me – “you’re a swirl” I said “a swirl?” and she responded with “you know, like frozen yogurt, you get the best of both kinds”. Maybe that’s what it means to be mixed, getting the best of both. So in your writing you are able to share with readers your perspectives of being both Chinese and White, which I personally look forward to reading more of.


  5. Wow. So I still do have readers. Thanks for sticking with me, y’all. I am currently working on my first “real” post back. Nothing too amazing, but trying to get this ball rolling . . .



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